Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize