Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
