Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
