Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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