i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My penis needs a shock collar
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
