His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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