Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
