we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
