Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
