At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
