So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
smell my finger.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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