She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize