Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
