Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I puked a lego.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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