They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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