This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
