i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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