i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
