If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He kissed a someone with a penis
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize