Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
