I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
