I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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