is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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