did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
this hospital has no fireball
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
