I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize