every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
