Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
