Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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