Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
So here I am, sexting at work.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
