Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Life is so much better after having sex.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
