Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I currently don't understand fingers.
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