i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
