I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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