There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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