Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Enjoy the penises
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
