i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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