I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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