A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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