I accidentally had phone sex last night
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
