Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
