Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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