Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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