addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
