Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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