i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
