I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I had to cum in my sink.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
