I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
