my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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