There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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