Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
This baby is an asshole
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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