Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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