I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She told me I should be a condom model.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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