Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
