Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
