Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
