AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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