We're like a lot better than the average bears
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We are all done wearing pants today
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
