using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
