Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
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