Sponge bath it is.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just had sex on a roof
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
