Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
