Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
