I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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