Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
