Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
