if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
