"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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