I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
