The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
