Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I wish there were birth control emojis
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
