i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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