Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Don't make out with my wife yet
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
